Woodbury County Republicans

Uncovering the Obama Conspiracies
By Jeff Lukens
CanadaFreePress.com

There are many unanswered questions about the Obama's early years. Diana West and John L. Work compiled a list of undisclosed documents on Obama's background that we, as an open society, have a right to know about the man who currently occupies the White House.

1) The original, long-form 1961 Hawaiian birth certificate.

Barack OBAMA, during his Cairo speech, said: "I know, too, that Islam has always been a part of America's story."

AN AMERICAN CITIZEN'S RESPONSE:

Dear Mr. Obama:

Were those Muslims that were in America when the Pilgrims first landed?  Funny, I thought they were Native American Indians.

Were those Muslims that celebrated the first Thanksgiving day?  Sorry again, those were Pilgrims and Native American Indians.

Can you show me one Muslim signature on the United States Constitution?

Declaration of Independence ?

Bill of Rights?

Easily Understandable Explanation of Derivative Markets

Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Detroit. She realizes that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronize her bar. To solve this problem, she comes up with a new marketing plan that allows her customers to drink now, but pay later.

The following question was posed to me:  "Why should I volunteer to walk in parades, staff the booth at the Woodbury County Fair, serve on various committees, door knock, make phone calls, sell tickets for the annual Pancake Breakfast, and so on?"

In formulating a response, I realized that one could list a plethora of reasons as to why one should agree to do any of those things.  However, as always when attempting to be persuasive, my "closer" centers around a quote that I discovered several years ago and to which I can add nothing.  It is as follows:

If you cross the North Korean border illegally you get 12 years hard labor.
If you cross the Iranian border illegally you are detained indefinitely.
If you cross the Afghan border illegally, you get shot.
If you cross the Saudi Arabian border illegally you will be jailed.
If you cross the Chinese border illegally you may never be heard from again.
If you cross the Venezuelan border illegally you will be branded a spy and your fate will be sealed.
If you cross the Cuban border illegally you will be thrown into political prison to rot.

Let me get this straight -- Obama's health care plan will be written by a committee whose Chairman says he doesn't understand it, passed by a Congress which hasn't read it, signed by a President who smokes, funded by a Treasury Chief who did not pay his taxes, overseen by a Surgeon General who is obese and financed by a country that is broke.